Dating With HIV – How to Deal With AIDS Or HIV Rejection
By Ana Smith
Dating with HIV or AIDS can be an extremely anxious event, especially at the onset or near the beginning of new relationships. If you have AIDS or HIV dating instead of being fun and exciting, becomes a time of worry and concern over the serious problem of rejection.
Rejection however or whenever it occurs can be devastating. Being rejected due to your behaviour or your manner is one thing. Hard as it can be, it is tolerable. If someone rejects you due to the colour of your skin, your religion, your beliefs, or due to a disability, it hurts immensely. However you have no control over these things.
It is vital to remember that the world is full of ignorant people who do not like or understand anything or anyone who is different. This makes the rejection of dating with HIV or AIDS no less painful, but deep down in your heart of hearts you know that someone who is so uninformed and intolerant was not that special someone for you anyway. So the relationship would soon have ended by itself anyhow.
If you really like a person, then it does not matter if they have issues. If your feelings are genuine then whatever the person is, was, has or believes will not deter the other persons judgement. You will accept the whole person, which includes the package that they come with as well. For we are all unique and we all come with something.
People who are rejected can take to hiding away. This is just as true when the rejection comes from having AIDS or being HIV positive. Dating with HIV is not easy, so when rejection appears, people can feel that no one will ever understand or love them. So to protect themselves from further hurt they can give up trying to make friendships altogether and go underground, giving up all hopes of ever being loved again.
Dating with HIV and obviously telling brings with it shock and questions. Anyone reasonable would want to know more, especially if this is an avenue they know little or nothing about. They would want consequences and risks explained to them. They may be a little upset, but not necessarily for themselves; for you also. But anyone who really found you sexy and fun before finding out about your AIDS or HIV positive status will still find you attractive afterwards.
Good unemotional explanations will go a long way to building trust and honesty in a relationship. Explain about your drug therapy or ways of managing your HIV or AIDS. Talk about safer sex. All this goes into helping to exhaust the fear; fear felt for your potential partner about learning of your condition and for you dealing with the problem of dating with HIV.
Everyone has the right to love and to be completely and unconditionally loved in return. You are just as deserving as anyone else of receiving this special love. Do not allow other bigoted people make you feel any less of a person. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend let alone a lover. Ensure the person you choose is worthy of your love. Never settle for less.
Rejection is not something you can control. Remember however, you can control how you deal with rejection and how you react to it. Instead of letting your AIDS or HIV status turn you into a hermit use it to obtain real proof of the way others feel about you. Allow dating with HIV to give you a little extra insight into finding out just what type a person you are dating.
Turn your condition to your advantage, tell of your issue and remember you are a great person. If they cannot deal with it, that is their issue and definitely not your fault. Anyone who is lucky enough to be in your life is therefore a truly privileged individual. And never lose sight that there are many people out there who will love you warts and all.
